A Little Retrospective

by Jonathan Geer

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1.
All Alone 01:18
All alone... All alone... Search all around. There's no one there. You're all alone anyway. Turn around to see if anyone is still there... Not a friend... Not a friend... He wants a friend. Wants just one friend. No one anywhere in sight. What could be changed? They never told him what was wrong.
2.
3.
Like a rose, I appear beautiful to your eyes. Like a rose, it's safer to admire from a distance. You never knew the truth. It doesn't take much effort to play the part you've always played, but deep beneath the crimson lies the thorn. It is my life, and God is the rose, and I am the thorn. I draw the blood. All of us, actors All our lives a flame upon a candle We burn and then we fade and die and still the rose is blooming, covering me and all my shame. God is the rose and I am the thorn. I draw the blood. God is the rose (3x)
4.
5.
Take Care 05:35
You can't go with me. You can't follow where I lead. It's not fair, I know... I can't take care of you. (2x) It's not fair. I know it's not fair. I wouldn't say that things are gonna' be okay. I wouldn't dare. And I have none to give, but Take care (8x) It's not fair. (8x) I'm scared... so scared... I may not have anything to give. It's not fair, and it doesn't mean much, but Take care (6x)
6.
Alaska 03:42
Alaska's looking good to me Snowy mountains and winter trees, oh I could breath that air and I'd be free, I'd be alive. I'd be alive... alive ooh... I could stay here with you, living forever in this mess and you would hope that I'd recover this time and I would lie again... ooh... Alaska's looking good to me Snowy mountains and winter trees It must be warmer, must be warmer than this place 'cause I'm freezing here.
7.
Stuntman 04:17
He fell from nineteen stories, walked away without a scratch, and he would say, "Oh, how boring..." Doesn't compare, doesn't even match yesterday, yesterday, when he was dodging bullets left and right and running through the flames, reaching the threshold of pain. He's a stuntman, doesn't really need your hand. (2x) He's a stuntman. He just want to get as close to death as he can. And he can. He parades his wounds around the room, tells her every story, every bruise. She would tell her stories too, but who would listen? The walls? The broom? She says, she says, "I don't feel like cleaning up today these messes that you've made. I just need you to stay awake." He's a stuntman, doesn't really need your hand. (2x) He's a stuntman. He just wants to get as close to death as he can. And he can. He can.
8.
Trees 02:55
I kissed a man who tasted like cheap peanut butter crackers. It made me sick so I ran faster than the rats and past the tractor in the garden where I sleep. Right across the street the Red Sox fans drank and drank and all got plastered. Faster, faster than I could plan my own disaster in the garden of disease where I keep my heart tied round these trees (6x) aah...
9.
Wasted 02:58
Yes, I am here. I am present, but I don't belong. I don't seem to fit in. I can't sing along with the other boys and girls. Is this my gift? Is this my talent? I'd give it up. I'd trade it in. Yes, I can tell you the answer, but I think it's best if you find it for yourself. Than you'd be so much happier like me. It would be your gift. It would be your talent. You'd give it up. You'd trade it in for something better than your scarlet letter. Oh, if you had my life and I had yours we'd give them up. We'd trade them in, wasting our gifts, wasting our talents... wasted... wasted...
10.
green plant on shipboard changing with changing stars plying from port to port you taste every horizon the propeller makes you tremble from root to branch to utmost tendril and my hand drawing you trembles at being out to sea but I discover the earth set in your square pot is the same earth I looked for at the far end of my telescope.
11.
All Is Well 06:11
I've always been afraid of the sound of my own voice. It's always been easier to fade into the noise. Ever since I was a boy the love I had for other boys was beaten down without a word, piece by piece destroyed. Oh, how can I tell you what it's done to me? I've spent my whole life just trying to get free. I'll never take to the sky perched on a wire. I'll never set your heart alight without walking through the fire. And I've been spending most of my days gettin' high And I've been livin' all my life on the sidelines. Even though the shame has worn me down down to the bone I've still got a lot of love to give and I know I'm not alone. And my beating heart is a diving bell that anchors in the sea floor everry time I look into your eyes and they're gently repeating softly repeating all is well all is well and all will be well I buried my desire just like I was told. My mask was born of fire and slowly, surely it took hold. Oh, how can I tell you what it's done to me? I've spent my whole life just trying to get free. CHORUS

about

This album was funded on Kickstarter as a Make 100 project. It looks back at 30 years of music making by Jonathan Geer and roughly tells the story of growing up gay in the small town of Waxahachie, TX.

credits

released February 4, 2021

Musicians

John Clark - French Horn (Track 10)
Tynan Davis - Vocals (Track 3)
Victor Fuenmayor - Trombone (Track 10)
Jonathan Geer - Vocals/Piano (Tracks 2, 5-11)
Maria Grigoryeva - Violin/Viola (Tracks 2-6, 8 and 9)
Amy Harris - Vocals (Track 2)
Tom Monger - Harp (Tracks 2 and 8)
Josh Plotner - Flute/Clarinet/Oboe (Tracks 3, 9 and 10)
Finn Reese - Vocals (Tracks 1 and 2)
Tony Rogers - Cello (Tracks 2-6, 8 and 9)
Phil Spencer - Bass (Tracks 2-6, 8 and 9)
Marco Taraddei - Bassoon (Tracks 3, 9 and 10)
Ben Thomas - Vibes/Xylophone/Glock (Tracks 8 and 9)


All music written and produced by Jonathan Geer
Lyrics by Jonathan Geer except "A Pot of Earth' lyrics by Jules Supervielle
Strings on 'Prelude in E Flat Major' by Supreme Tracks

Album mastered by Bryan David

Album photography and artwork by Jonathan Geer

Special Thanks to the Ragazzi Boys Chorus

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Jonathan Geer Austin, Texas

Jonathan's music has appeared on American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Family Guy, PBS, BBC, Access Hollywood and numerous other shows. He has also composed soundtracks for games appearing on Mac, PC, Nintendo DS and iPhone/iPad. He currently lives in Austin, TX and performs regularly with the Austin Piazzolla Quintet and Waterloo Trio. ... more

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